Onto the men…

I touched only briefly on the properness a man should have in my previous post “Feminists will hate me!” when I referred to men opening doors and walking on the correct side of a lady.  In case you are wondering which is the correct side to walk on… it’s the side nearest the traffic, crowd, etc. to protect her.  So, when you cross a street you might even need to switch sides!  Yes sir, it might take you a whole couple of extra steps!  haha (Note to the Ladies: There is nothing wrong with changing the side for him!  I do this all the time, and the men who have ever walked down a street with me know that.  I have no problem with taking a men gently by the arm and pulling him onto the outside of the sidewalk.  Then I giggle and smile, and let him know that’s his side! 😉  They never mind… I promise.)

Now onto more about men and their place.  Don’t worry guys, this is not a man-bashing blog!  I am quite fond of the male species, personally… and most women I know are equally as much.  Not to say that we don’t have our complaints, as you do about us. 🙂  Where was I?  Ah yes, onto you men…

I have a question: When did men lost their “real man” card, and call it “I have my man card”?  What do I mean?  Well, it used to be that “real men” were a breed where what was important to the were: honor, love, respect, protecting, providing, going out of their way for a cause or purpose or a person.  Nowadays for a man to have his “man card” the importance behind that card tends to be things more along the lines of: Not letting a woman have control, staying independent and single as long as possible, dressing sloppily because you don’t care what anyone else thinks, etc.  Listen men… I know that a lot of this is the fault of women trying to be so independent themselves that it ends up being a competition.  And for that, I apologize for the whole women population!  Now, please forgive us all – you’ve been officially asked for forgiveness – and take back your place, where you belong.

Where is that, you ask?  As head of the household (aka Man of the house), spiritual leader, protector, confidant, lover, provider, knight in shining armor… it’s where we really do want you!!! Ahh, I see images of Cary Grant holding his woman protectively and seductively at the same time!  SWOON!!

Cary Grant
Cary Grant

What makes a man?  Now there’s a question!!  I think it’s awful how society has made men.  No longer do they want to openly give a compliment, in fear of a sexual harassment lawsuit.  And men are trying to be so “sensitive” and “in-touch with their feminine side”…. who wants a man to be that sensitive!?  Besides, what most men think of as women’s emotional needs are not right anyhow, so please be a man!  When did men start being expected to be “good shoulders to cry on” and overly empathetic??  Ladies, that’s what your girlfriends are for! Men are supposed to be the masculine predators, not a super-sensitive she-man-thing!  Yes, even still now though guys are called on as bug-squashers!!  Why, because they are still deep-down supposed to be the warriors, duh!  Guys… grow your chest hair back!  (Unless you’re a model and need a cleanly shaven chest, guys we kinda like it!  It’s sexy! Now, not too much… no hair sweaters! Eeeww!)  Don’t you know that George Clooney is the new Cary Grant… guys, take a look, and follow by two great examples!    I know of a time when men were taught impressive penmanship, an wrote so beautifully it seems almost like art.  When they wore a coat to dinner… just because it was dinner.  Men were taught to work hard, and excel, and they took pride in their work.  There was an old-fashioned consideration for others, especially women.  It is considered just as much of a compliment for a man to be called a gentleman, as it is for a woman to be referred to as a lady.  Now though, it seems that men don’t care for how they come across!

On second thought, maybe the lack of “manhood” is not all women’s fault.  Maybe it’s a lack of strong male role models from simple definitions of masculinity.  The same goes for femininity with women.  All those soft men and hard women ways that media put out are completely backwards!   Our society desperately needs to recover some essential sense of man & woman.

…wow, now that’s a mouthful!

Not every change in the male image in current society is wrong though… please realize that I am making a point.  I adore that men are now more involved with the families, and that it is now more public than ever about protection women & children against violence in the homes due to overbearing & controlling men.  “Real men” do not over-step their boundaries!!!  Ladies – NEVER FORGET THAT!!!  If a man ever touches a woman or child inappropriately or meanly… HE IS NOT A MAN!!!  True manly virtues are just that; virtuous.

Let me summarize in one short paragraph: Men… be proud of being a man!  Yes, even though it means that you let women go through doors before you, speak at meetings before you, have their orgasm before you.  Stand tall and know that we appreciate you when you are “the real man” you should be.  Yes, us ladies want a “real man”; the masculine real man who shows us respectable protective chivalry in public, and the strong predator in …. 😉  you get my drift.

As always,

Sonya… She Idealist

By Sonya Mae

I am a very unique breed of person. If you ask my mother, she would say that I am a very old spirit who should have been born in the 40's or 50's. I love old womens' fashion...when women dressed like women! If you ask my daddy, he would say I am the biggest dressed up tom-boy he knows, who is way too into cars and climbing trees! I was a ballet dancer and choreography major in college until 20yrs old when I retired due to a neck injury. Besides still dancing through ballroom, latin & swing styles, my current passions are cars (seriously...I took 4 yrs of auto shop, and drool at the sound of a loud engine rumble!), fashion & interior design, and creating moments that last!

I love helping people find their strengths! Finding their happiness and their smile! (Everyone looks amazing when they smile!) I love showing people how to be genuinely happy by simply changing their mindsets and attitudes. I do these things in as many ways as I can, using many mediums. As well showing people how they too can do something they may not have thought they could. there's a will, there's a way!

I am a mother of two (2) amazing children, who make my life beyond blessed, and I always do my best for them. I love to spend as much time with them as I can and want them always to be learning... I am very proud of them! And, GOD comes first & foremost in my life!!!

I am...
Sonya Mae aka SheIdealist

4 replies on “Onto the men…”

Thank you for this post. It is a refreshing reiteration of a truth that has been pushed aside. In my first marriage, i had fallen into the belief that because men and women were equals that meant that they are the same. My first wife and I didn’t last long as a married couple, and I can blame the blurring of those gender roles as a distinct issue (among st others) that quite quickly eroded our relationship.

Afterward, I pondered on what I wanted my future marriage to be, if I was ever to try again. I was brought back to a time in high-school I had spent some time with my grandparents. I remember how my grandfather opened the doors for my grandmother. And how they spoke to each other. While in high-school these things were not noticeable, but looking back as an adult. I realized how much love and respect each of them gave to each other through acting like a respective gentleman or lady.

I vowed to pattern my future relationships after them. I vowed that if I was going to spend my life with someone I wanted that someone to be my best friend and I wanted that friendship to be constantly reinforced with the type of behavior modeled by my grandparents.

I try everyday to model my marriage after that idea. And while I am not a perfect gentleman all the time. My wife and I have developed certain expectations of each other. These expectations help us uphold a standard of deep love and respect. And the more love and respect we show and offer each other the more I feel we can become like my Grandparents.

And as I try to be more like my grandfather, I am reminded of his last years. After more than a decade of separation due to my grandmothers passing. My grandfather reverenced her when ever he spoke of her. And kept her side of the bed made and ready for her. He told me once that he couldn’t sleep with only one pillow. even though he never touched it. It had to be there, because whether or not she was physically here he knew that was her place.

Andrew .

Thank you for this comment. I am so happy that you have great role models to use as your relationship mentors to pattern your marriage after! That makes me happy. 🙂

It is always great to hear the desire for these proper roles to be accepted and desired by so many still. Very refreshing indeed. I pray that you have an absolutely wonderful week!!!!


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