Wow… I cannot believe it has been so long since I have posted. I am so very sorry for going MIA for so long! My “life” just got insanely busy and hectic and I allowed it to simply overtake my time. So any free time that I had, I was either playing with my children, or attempting to catch up on sleep (of which I am still not caught up on yet!). I thought about needing to write, and wanting to write, and knowing exactly what posts i need and want to write about…. yet, I never set apart the time to do it.
So, please… accept my sincere apology for dropping the ball on my blog writing. I am here though. Just in case you have been wondering. 🙂
And, I am back. I will write a “real blog” very shortly!
p.s. I DID however, have this promotional image shot, which is probably the one image which captures ME more than any other I have had taken in a very long time! 🙂
I am, and always have been intrigued by human profiling, personality testing, communication, leadership, and the like. I am constantly learning about such things about myself and others to be a better person personally, as well as learn to better communicate and interact with other people. This is a new one to me… about your leadership roles in life (for women).
This song (lyrics below) is not written by me in any way… I simply wanted to share something that speaks to me with you. For all of you who fight a battle of your own, whatever that battle may be. From me to you… I know how you feel. When you fall down and cry, and all you want is your daddy to pick you up, because you really just feel like a little young helpless child. I feel you. I understand. He is with you. You are not alone… ever.
Watch this video…
Twila Paris – Warrior Is A Child Lyrics
Lately I’ve been winning battles left and right But even winners can get wounded in the fight People say that I’m amazing Strong beyond my years But they don’t see inside of me I’m hiding all the tears
They don’t know that I go running home when I fall down They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and cry for just a while ‘Cause deep inside this armor The warrior is a child
Unafraid because His armor is the best But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest People say that I’m amazing Never face retreat But they don’t see the enemies That lay me at His feet
They don’t know that I go running home when I fall down They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and and cry for just a while ‘Cause deep inside this armor the warrior is a child
They don’t know that I go running home when I fall down They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and look up for a smile ‘Cause deep inside this armor Deep inside this armor Deep inside this armor The Warrior is a Child
Do you ever have moments when you feel emotionally needy? I like to usually think that I am Superwoman, and have great control over my emotions. Well, let me just tell you that I have discovered that even I…. yes, even Superwoman can feel all girly and emotional. And you know what I discovered through this realization? Feeling girly & emotionally needy sucks!!!!! HAHAHAHA
Okay, so I ran into my emotionally needy side this week, and she needs a serious slap in the face and a wake up call to reality! I mean seriously! I couldn’t even put up with myself! HA!
Since I am an analyzer and try to be very self-aware and always learning, I have decided to take this as a learning experience and a very humbling one at that. The Lord seems to be telling me to “just be okay” with something specifically and my little vulnerable girl inside of me that tries to pretend she’s all big & bad & tough all of the time is throwing a complete tantrum, much like that of a 2-year-old child in a store that isn’t getting her way, screaming “but I don’t WANT to just be okay, I want it NOW!” I know I can be a little impatient sometimes, meaning when I have fully made up my mind on something, I want to take the steps to accomplish it immediately. However, this weeks’ little wake-up call to myself being all too vulnerable to being emotionally needy like the rest of the female population that I attempt to tell myself that I can be stronger than, has shown me that I truly needed someone to grab me by the shoulders, give me a good shake to wake up, and then look me straight in the eyes and say, “Sonya, REALLY!?!?!?!?? Shut up and just listen to reason.”
So…. this random post is for all of you men out there that may deal with women who become emotionally needy. We are completely sorry you have to deal with this EVER!!!! However, at the exact same time that I am apologizing for this I want to try to help you deal with it when you have to. (And no, I’m sorry it does not always come every 30 days on a calendar as my little “momentary girly spout” did not, it was completely random…. so you cannot schedule it. LOL) From what I can tell you, the absolutely WORST thing that you can do is to ignore us in these moments. When girls get all “girly” all they really want and need is a really long hug, maybe some kisses, and to be reassured and reassured and reassured that we are okay, that we are special, that we are valued, that we are worth it. I promise you that the “girly” phase will pass much quicker if you deal with it just like any math problem, and look at it as any issue we may bring to you to help us with around the house. Instead of the household item breaking and needing figured out how to be fixed… it’s us that needs your “what can I do to help” moment. And normally you cannot “fix” it… but you CAN be there, you CAN help it pass much faster by just doing a little extra reassuring of us (even if you have to roll your eyes… just don’t let us see you rolling them because we might cry and think we’re not worth it! HAHAHAHA)…. I know I know, this is silly! Believe me… I felt silly feeling this way! BUT hey, we are girls…. you like us being girls right!?!?!? Well, I guess this comes with ALL girls at one point or another! So… hopefully you can learn to deal with it in a loving manner and hopefully I have helped give you a little insight into getting through it with us.
The reason that this is SUCH a surprise to me, that even I can be so girly and need such affirmations??? Well, have you ever read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman? If you haven’t; you should!!!! In fact, if you want to know what your love language is, go here and take this short test: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/. I own this and about every other relational, communication, and leadership book. I love learning about people, personalities, and how to best talk with, work with, communicate with, different people in order to best succeed on all levels of life (personally, professionally, spiritually, etc.). Okay, back to the opening sentence of this paragraph. The reason that this is SUCH a surprise to me, that even I can be so girly and need such affirmations, is because “Words of Affirmations” is in my bottom two. What that means is that I don’t really NEED to be verbally affirmed to feel loved… at all. So, ummmm, yeah…. I get a little surprised when I feel all emotionally needy! HAHAHAHA In fact, it hit be straight across the face with a great big, “Yes, even YOU can get this way!” Humbling… yes. Fun… no! LOL
Big sigh…. a little laugh at myself…. and a great big wish that I wasn’t all emotional sometimes…. and even still a thankfulness that God has reminded me that I am human, and that I need other people, and that I need HIM still every day!
Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. –John Lennon
What is a Bucket List? Simply put, it’s a list of things to do before you die… or “kick the bucket.” Do you have a bucket list? Maybe you have some listed in your head. Why not put them down on paper and make it official?! This turns them from wishes into life goals. And a goal, my friend, is something that can have an action plan and reality to be accomplished! So… write them down! If you want to take it a step farther even, share it with friends. You never know… maybe they can help you start checking some of them off! I mean, none of us know when we will “kick the bucket” so why the heck not start working on doing yours today!? Three cheers for the Bucket List!
THE BEGINNING OF MY BUCKET LIST! (oh yes, this is only the beginning…)
Have my children around every day
Learn to play the violin
Take my children and I to CA to visit my family for holidays, as well as in the summer to experience CA palm trees, beaches & oceans, Knott’s Berry Farm, and all of my favorite memories…. at least twice per year.
Hire a photographer to follow my family & I around for our entire vacation to capture all of the REAL moments
Make YouTube videos reenactments of my favorite movie & musical moments with my BFF Justine (and other friends)
Go on an African Safari
Go salsa dancing in Cuba
Finally go competitive in dancing again… this time in Ballroom, Latin, Swing
Have my favorite artistic portrait commissioned & painted, and hanging in my living room
Travel to Paris: shop at the top fashion stores, eat amazing French food, visit the most historical places, as well as the quaint inland spots, oh and reenact many Audrey Hepburn movie moments!! 🙂
Learn to speak fluent French
Teach my children to speak fluent French
Learn to speak fluent Italian
Teach my children to speak fluent Italian
Learn to speak fluent Spanish
Teach my children to speak fluent Spanish
Learn to play the piano well
Travel to Italy: visit the key places all over Italy, as well as family of friends in Sicily & have a huge Italian dinner party with them! Shop in the top fashion stores, eat at the best Italian eateries, drink wine at the local wineries.
Get Scuba Certified
Hand Paint a large canvas for my house with my children
Write a book that parallels the thoughts and inspirations of my blog
Write a steamy romance novel
Snorkeling in Cabo
Sunbathing in Costa Rica
Take my children to Disney World
Go to all the 6Flags and ride all the roller coasters
Ride in a Hot Air Balloon, and have a romantic picnic once it lands in a grass field.
Take my children to a Cubs game
Take my children to a Yankees game
Form a ladies bowling league called the “Pink Ladies” with outfits to match the Grease movie characters!
Travel to all 50 States
Visit the Pyramids
Spend NYE at NY Time Square
Go to England: visit all the great key places, plus the inland quaint spots.
Experience Carnival in Rio de Janeiro
Go White Water Rafting
See the Northern Lights
Go on a shopping spree with NO dollar amount limit!!!!!
Swim with dolphins
Learn Sign Language
Teach my children Sign Language
Go to the Kentucky Derby
Go to Australia
Go to Greece
Go Hang Gliding
Go to Japan
Ride a camel
Attend the US Open
Learn to fly a plane
Go to an Opera
Attend Mardi Gras in New Orleans
Own my dream house (buy or build)
Learn water skiing
Be in a Hollywood Movie
Perfect my tennis serve
Learn to fly fish
Learn English Jumping on horseback
Become a millionairess
Be happily married for the rest of my life
Help orphan children find forever homes
BUCKET LIST ITEMS I’VE ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED!
Throw a Masquerade Ball
Throw an elaborate birthday party for someone who has never had a birthday party
See a show on Broadway
Skiing in Colorado
Race cars in a classic muscle car
Race cars in a sports car
Take Auto Shop, learn how to & build an engine
Kiss in the rain
Go to a drive-in movie theater
Go to a concert
Go on a cruise
Get CPR & First Aid Certified
Kiss under the mistletoe
Go puddle jumping after a rain
Roller Skate the boardwalk from one beach to another in CA
Go to Hawaii
Lava Cliff Diving
Fly first class
Laugh until I cry
Go to a red carpet movie premiere
Watch a movie star get their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in person
Go to a wig shoppe with my daughter and spend all day trying on every wig & modeling them!
Buy a wig and wear it out anytime I feel like looking like someone else – do this more than once
Visit the Grand Canyon
Ride an elephant
Sleep under the stars in the mountains
Go to a horse race: bet on a horse
Ride in a gondola with an operatic singing guide
Play craps in Vegas
Sail in a regatta
Plant a tree
Learn to ride a horse
Own a horse
Write a song
Write a blog
Go grape stomping
Go to the Symphony – many times
Go to a professional ballet – many times
Perform ballet in front of a large auditorium audience
Start a dance company
Own my own company = work for myself
Learn to shoot many types of handgun
Go horse camping
Make homemade ice cream
Sign up to become an organ donor
Be a pen-pal
Put my hand print into wet concrete
Type 80 words per minute
Learn snow skiing
Take full part in Japanese Tea Ceremony – in full traditional attire
Learn to Swing Dance
Learn to Ballroom Dance
Learn to Latin Dance
Visit a Renaissance Fair
Drive a speedboat
Ride a jet ski
Go tubing down a river
Ride a horse bareback
Go ice skating
Go roller skating
Race in a roller speed skating race
Like I said… this is only the beginning! I will surely be adding to it constantly. I equally hope to be crossing many more items off of this list constantly!
QUESTION: So, what am I missing that I absolutely must do?!
I am taking a side-step from my normal posts to “just blog” for a moment. Do you ever have an awkward “funk” that creeps into your day? I had one right this very evening. So, I decided to stop it in it’s tracks toward me and instead re quote to myself my answer to this question: What do you do in a “funk” mood?
Mine – this evening – wasn’t really due to anything in particular. Well, I retract that… if I am to be completely 100% transparent… I am sitting in my house alone and well… it’s just too quiet. Do you ever feel that way? When my children are at their father’s house, this house doesn’t feel like a home anymore. My normal response is to stay extremely busy with projects for work, or around my house painting or building something or organizing something, and thankfully I have a small inner-circle of a few very close friends that I can either talk on the phone with or hang out with. I am not a bit “going out” gal, as it’s just not super fun for me. I would much rather have friends over to my house for dinner… and well, I do try and do that at least once a month. (And yes, they are normally themed events… that’s just how I roll! HAHA) I had great plans tonight of finishing painting a bedroom that I am putting in beautiful champagne and camel colored stripes, however instead I decided to simply relax for a little bit. Those quiet moments when you are ‘alone with your thoughts’ are when it’s easiest for negativity to attempt to creep in. Don’t let it!!! Gaining power over your thoughts is doable. I know I have recently talked about this in another blog. I suppose the main purpose of this random blog post is to let you know that yes, I am human. I have moments of “funk” moods just like everyone else. The difference is that as soon as it happens, I get rid of it! If one attempt doesn’t work… change your attempt. Guess what, it’s YOUR mind. You own it. So… own it!!!
What other things do I do to get rid of a “funk” mood? Right now, I’m blogging, and it’s gone because I my mind on this instead. On that note: for those of you whom have never written in a journal (or a very public form of that… a blog), it’s very uplifting. It releases so much of your worries as soon as you place them onto the pages of your journal, or type them into your computer. Besides that what do I do? Exercise. I love Pilates. Oh, and my Wii gets some of my attention… it’s active, and I love all things active. If it were beautiful outside, or I was still in California, I would be outside right now. Oh how the outdoors make me feel better. There’s a lake right by my house with trails that get a lot of my time during great weather. I love a good conversation as well… sometimes I simply pick up my phone or text or IM (hey, it’s 2012) and have a good chat with a friend.
What about you? I am curious… what do you do in a “funk” mood?
I am always surprised when I find out that not everyone is as educated on “childhood fun” as I am. Maybe it’s because I have children of my own and adore play-time with them so much. I can cross back and forth from adult professional and proper to childlike playfulness so effectively, that I suppose I am baffled at why some people don’t seem to be born with the “play” piece inside of them. This is a lesson that absolutely needs to be learned for every single person on this planet. There is not much in this world that more fun and fullfilling than deep belly laughs from pure childlike fun. So, today in this blog, I am striving to help you all see the need and learn how to make time just to have fun.
Happiness is helped along SO much by laughter and having wholesome fun. I am not completely sure how to put this into words… so I am instead going to put this out via a picture slideshow and video blog for you.
What is a resolution? A resolution is a goal that is set at the beginning of the year – not a wish, a goal. The point of this goal is to attain it before the the new year arrives. So, you want to make your New Year’s Resolutions attainable by making them small enough to actually accomplish in a one year time span. And then break them down into steps of how you can achieve them. Another great step is to start with your smallest goal and accomplish that one first, so that you build up a “snow ball effect” momentum which will help push you in a positive way towards achieving the rest!
So… want to see this girls’ New Year’s Resolutions?! In the true spirit of “putting myself out there” for the purpose of pushing you all farther, through this blog, I will share mine with you. This is not an ‘edited for public’ list… these are my actual New Year’s Resolutions.
For each resolution I have written on this sheet of paper, I have the also broken down into HOW exactly I plan on attaining them. For example: 3. Drink 8 glasses of water/day – Keep water bottle with me, filled at all times so that I always have water with me to drink.
Another thought – have you ever thought about outsourcing or asking for others’ help in achieving your New Years’ Resolutions or goals? This is why so many people purchase gym memberships after making their resolutions. The downside to that theory is that there is no accountability… no one to make sure you go! There’s a new movie in theaters right now called “New Year’s Eve” in which a lady named Ingrid (Michelle Pfeiffer) gets a courier boy (Zac Effron) to accomplish her entire list off New Year’s Resolutions for her in 24 hours… since she hadn’t been able to do them on her own. This is of course a movie-version, yet still a great example that you don’t have to go at it alone! You can ask friends for help. Or even hire or outsource it out to have it ensured done for you, like Ingrid did. Either way, accountability (telling someone, and having them check on progress) is a great help to ensure your success!
However you go about it… I wish you good luck!! You are all now my instant accountability partners. I have just shared with you a list of things that I WILL accomplish in 2012.
Focus on creating what you desire…. Hmm, well this is an interesting blog for me to write. How do I put this into words – I’m coming up with it as I type so be patient with me! LOL
Seriously I am…. totally not kidding. 🙂 However, I am focused on creating this blog post, it is what I desire at this moment… haha… like that tie in!? 🙂 I’m coy that way. 😉 Okay okay, I’m done being funny. Maybe. Well, I guess we’ll see… (okay, I don’t know what’s gotten into me at the moment! HA) …I suppose I’m losing focus. LOL
It IS that simple to lose focus. Especially for us ADD types! All those out there that relate are nodding their heads in agreement and are already bored and waiting for me to finally get to my point! Riiight?! Right! 🙂
As the New Year of 2012 approaches in only 2 days from the moment I am typing this, many of you are making your New Years Resolutions. Some of you don’t make them because them because you’re afraid you won’t keep them and then will feel unaccomplished. Personally, I think it is a great thing that we do at New Years…. actually, I think there are two great things that we do at New Years.
Firstly, we reflect. We reflect on the year that is ending. What did we do wrong? What did we do right? What do we wish we would have had the courage to attempt? What are we proud of that we were brave enough to try? Who do we need to break our ties with in our life? Who are we thankful that we have in our life and want to keep forever? What have we learned about ourselves that needs to change? Where in our lives have we grown and become better? What habit do we want so badly to change? What do we want to be able to make a habit? There are so many other questions and moments we ponder. And pondering can be very productive – as long as you “don’t focus on negative thoughts” and use the pondering only as a building tool.
Then, we make our New Years Resolutions. From the reflecting and pondering of the ending year, we build our “lists” of what we want and wish for ourselves to accomplish. Do you make one? I do. However, I try to take the tools I learn in all of my leadership, success, sales, and goals books and put them to use to make them actually happen. One trick… don’t make a list of 100 things!!!!! Seriously, let’s make this attainable.
For each thing you put on your list, break it down into steps. Do this by building backwards. Think of that resolution item as the end goal… the finished building. And take apart that building piece-by-piece so that you can see from start-to-finish what it takes to build it. This will give you simple daily steps as a map in which to follow to realistically and actually achieve this goal. Now… do this for each resolution. Another helpful thing is to place time frames by each step. For instance, if this were a true building being built, there are actual time frames that are required in order to file specific paperwork and wait on approvals. To think you can push through an entire permit process in an hour is quite unrealistic. So, do a little research and see how long each step should take… set a time frame, and try to hold to it. By being realistic with your idealistic goals, you will not set yourself up for failure. Also, if you bust your butt you could actually accomplish this goal faster than anticipated. Remember, it’s always better to under-promise and over-deliver, even when your client is yourself. Tools to set these mapped out steps and time frames can be as simple as a Google search, or even better would be someone who already has accomplished this thing in their life. If you have someone like that, and can ask them to mentor or guide you through it, then you’re a step ahead already. And from experience, people are normally more than happy to help share their stories of successes. Don’t believe me… try it… just ask someone. 🙂 You should look at this list daily, keep track of your progress, see what can and needs to be done next, work on doing it, and cross out the steps as you’ve accomplished them. Personally, I like the act of actually crossing things out on my list. It makes me feel like I’ve done something… silly I know. But it works a little. 🙂
Why is it so important to be detailed like this with something that people deem a silly ritual, like New Years Resolutions? Because they are truly things that you desire!!!!! The desires of your heart are nothing to be taken lightly. By taking them as serious as the job you do to earn your living, you will be giving proper focus on creating what you desire. This… this is having a living, not just earning money to live. Life is to be enjoyed. Moments are precious. Never forget that.
To every thing good there is a bad side that can be found…. if you look for it, you can find it. I cannot scream loud enough in this written blog, “DON’T FOCUS ON NEGATIVE THOUGHTS!” There, whew, that feels better to get off my chest. lol
Even though I am a very idealistic and optimistic person, I still find it’s easy to fall prey to negative thoughts. They play out in full color motion picture in your mind awaiting your attention. However, they are only there to bring you pain.
Your mind can seem untamable at times, like a wild beast on the prowl for your good fortune. You CAN learn to control your thoughts though, and this is a key piece in the puzzle to controlling your attitude and emotions. Learning how to focus on the positive side of the story. NOTE: I am not intending to tell you to picture the world around you only as an imaginary story book land, instead to keep a grasp on reality and knowing that there are two sides to the story… knowledge is power… and choose to keep focused on the positive side.
Like in the game of tennis (this was my game in High School so you will have to bear with this analogy) – one lesson you learn in the very beginning of tennis lessons is that wherever your hip is pointing, that is likely where the ball will go. As a rough example… the same holds true of your mind. Whatever you dwell on, there your life will take you.
Here is a key lesson on keeping yourself from focusing on negative thoughts. Plant good thoughts constantly!! Do you remember the old saying, “put good in, get good out & put bad in, get bad out”…. well, darlings… it’s true. However cheesy you think that line may sound, it works. And I dare you to try it. No, I tripple dog dare you!!! (hahaha…. I just watched “The Christmas Story” so it’s stuck in my head, and guess what… coming out in my blog! See… point proven!! HA)
How do you plant good thoughts? Here are some things I personally do, which I have learned over the years:
Read the Bible (Psalms is a good one to read daily for good uplifting thoughts)
Remember all your blessings (Every night, I make it a point to thank the Lord for all the blessings I can come up with… thinking of even the smallest things like that we have a roof over our head, and a car, and Christmas presents to open, and food every day to eat… really put how blessed you are compared to so many into perspective.)
Laugh (Find something anything that makes you laugh… and have a good laugh! YouTube can be a great tool during negative thought moments to get an immediate distraction into your mind to put a quick stop to negative thoughts in your mind.)
Read, Listen, Watch (How much good, positive, uplifting things can you get your hands on? I am a fan of quality motivational speakers and listen to them throughout the year. I have a personal library of leadership, communication, and life building books… plus some personal good read favorites of course as well. The more of this you have constantly going into your mind, the more your mind will be bombarded with this and it will outweigh negative thoughts.)
The point is to have so much good memorized in your mind and heart that any attempt of a negative thought is beaten down immediately and easily. Without effort almost you will be able to push them out of the way like shooing a fly off of your summer picnic meal. Yes, they will still come after your yummy life food… but they will merely be small helpless flies. No longer beasts coming to devour your life hopes and dreams.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! I have faith in you. I believe in you. I cannot wait to hear the good reports!!